23 Dec Transforming from the inside out!
When I was younger (far left picture), I was so angry; I hated everything, including myself, and you can see it from the picture. I didn’t care about my health and I didn’t care about others at all. I had gone through a lot of emotional and physical circumstances that made me blind to the beauty of life. I was so lost and I never thought I would see the day that I wouldn’t be angry anymore, or have thoughts of suicide… Today I still struggle with things from my past, but I don’t let them define me and I don’t let that hatred consume me anymore. I’ve learned to channel that energy to make me a better person every day. It wasn’t an easy process; I had to let go of old habits, some friends that fed the negative energy, and it took time.
In the second picture, another series of events happened that changed my life- I was married, in the Marine Corps, and becoming a mother all by the time I was 20 years old. It was a lot to handle at such an early age, but those events are what started the change on the inside. Obviously because of my weight gain, I started to care a little more about my health and what I was eating. I had to adjust to the fact that I was going to be taking care of another life and that it was going to be completely dependent on me. Little by little, I was changing. At the time, I just didn’t know how much I was going to change….
Now, you can see that I made the change on the outside as well as the inside; I care about people, I love my life, and I want to continue to inspire others to do the same. Being happy doesn’t mean you’re absent from pain and sadness, it just means that you aren’t going to let it take over your life. My life is by no means perfect, and neither am I, but that won’t stop me from being as happy as I can be.
So how did I overcome those obstacles? How did I totally change my life? I contribute most of it to the Grace of God. I started realizing that I had a bigger purpose on this earth and I needed to stick around to figure out what that was. I understand that not everyone will share this belief, but I wanted to be honest. You are entitled to search for that purpose for yourself however you feel works for you. I also changed my surroundings; Talking to more positive people, finding new places to spend my time in, and realizing that there were other people less fortunate than me all around me and I didn’t see it until I started to pay attention to things other than my own pain. Staying depressed, angry, bitter, empty…those are all a choice that all you need to do is replace with the decision to be joyful, happy, thankful, and forgiving. Sounds easier said than done, but whose life is it? It’s yours! Take control and you’ll see the changes, as I did, in your own life.
I shared my story to show that life wasn’t always easy, and I can relate to you if you are in those lowest points of your life, or in those areas that you are in a position that has you clueless, but extremely responsible. Life has a way of throwing us those hard knocks, but with the right mindset, anything is possible. One of life’s greatest gifts is the fact it is difficult. It’s when we deal with life’s difficulties, that we build invaluable strength. This strength enables us to successfully fulfill our deepest, most meaningful purposes.